


Chance Meetings

by AutumnalBloom, awbucks



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Steve Rogers, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, New York, Not Steve Friendly, OOC Steve Rogers, Skinny!Steve, Steve isn't a good guy in this, amputee!Bucky, but it's a more or less human au, i will tag this if there is anything you guys want me to tag, if you like stucky this isn't for you, not stucky, please, steve is a dick in this, they do drink, tony has his arc reactor, uh, whew we wrote this in a flurry of emotions, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-16 18:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11258898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnalBloom/pseuds/AutumnalBloom, https://archiveofourown.org/users/awbucks/pseuds/awbucks
Summary: Bucky is in a dying relationship. Tony is dying. Somehow, they keep meeting. Is the universe teasing them, or giving them a second chance at life?





	1. Chapter 1: Dying, both socially and physically.

**Author's Note:**

> AutumnalBloom and I roleplayed this and we both really enjoyed it!
> 
> I (acebuckybarnes) quite obviously wrote Bucky and AutumnalBloom wrote Tony, as well as Steve
> 
> Please like/review/comment whatever
> 
> Also, our tumblrs are @acebuckybarnes and @renderinglifeslowly

When Tony first met Bucky, it was love at first sight. Well, there was a sudden release of endorphins when he first met Bucky, anyways. They seemed to..click. Personalities seemed right. They were both missing a piece of themselves, and Tony had really hoped they could be that for each other. Until he met Steve...Bucky’s boyfriend. He tried not to be jealous, he really hadn’t. The guy seemed nice enough, kind of cute in a weird, small way. Steve walked around like man with something to prove, but he already had the only thing Tony wanted. It sucked. Still, between being the CEO and research and development head for the best Fortune 500 company in the world and constant attempts on his life, until he finally ran into the man again, one night at a bar. 

“Hey.” He said, walking over to him. “Are you okay?” He asked, noticing the half-gone drink. Well, Tony had come here to drink too, so he was in no position to judge. Still, he wasn’t sure what had happened. Bucky didn’t seem like the type. Maybe a breakup? Was that bad to hope for? It was, he decided, as he sat down beside him.

“I dunno if you remember me. Tony?” He asked, pulling his jacket a little tighter against the glow of his reactor. Yeah, the one with the giant ugly hunk of metal in his chest. Who would probably die because of it. That one. “I met you about..six months ago, I’d say.” They had chemistry, and Tony sure as hell hadn’t forgotten about it. How could he? It had been one of the strangest experiences in his life. And now, his on and off again girlfriend was gone..there was no one to keep him from pursuing the man, really. Except for Steve. But if he was out of the picture..maybe he had a chance. As long as Bucky wasn’t still hurting from it. Tony wasn’t that kind of person, no matter how badly he wanted to take the man out.  
-  
Bucky looked up and gave the man a half smile. “Hey. Fancy running into you here.” Steve was being a real ass and he just needed some time away from the man. He swore, it was like dating a chihuahua. Was tiny, but had a temper like hell. Bucky honestly didn’t know how someone could go from yelling and swearing to crying that quickly. He knew he was going to get hell when he got back home, somehow be blamed for driving drunk or whatever, even if he was planning on having a beer and leaving. 

“Nice night, huh?” He said, as rain poured down, thunder echoing in the distance. Bucky knew there was trouble on the homefront when he went out in this. He sipped his beer, it was mostly just sweet and warm, didn’t have much bite to it. Bucky wasn’t looking to get drunk tonight, just needed a reason to stay out of the apartment and away from his boyfriend.  
-  
Tony shrugged. “Yeah, guess so. I don’t mind the rain.” He ordered a whiskey on ice, and turned to face him.

“I have a feeling we’re both here for ‘bout the same reasons.” He said, taking a sip of his drink. This had been an awfully long night for him. Talked to her on the phone for the first time since they broke up. Now she answered her phone. Invited him to her wedding, which he’d go to. They were still friends, it just..hurt. And well, it was about the old way he knew how to deal with things that hurt nowadays. It wasn’t like it really mattered, the reactor would probably kill him first.  
“Long day.” He added quietly, clearly thinking as he turned back to face the plain bartop. This place was kind of a dive, but it had been the first place that struck his fancy after two hours of just driving. He sighed, feeling a little..sad. But, he didn’t need to be sad right now. He was happy enough to see Bucky. 

“How about you? My girlfriend’s getting married..to my chauffeur.”  
-  
Bucky raised his eyebrows. That was reason enough for Tony to be drinking. “Damn,” He chuckled a little. “That sucks. I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair, tucking a piece behind his ear. 

“I’m just here ‘cause my boyfriend’s a pain in the ass and won’t let me blast Rent while I do the dishes.” He smiled, hoping that his attempt at lightening the mood would work at least a little. That was an oversimplification of the truth, but getting into Steve and his...complicated relationship involved a power point and notecards. He had to convince Steve he was kidding when he’d told that one at Sam’s party. Took him forty minutes. 

“You think he’d use this time to sleep, considering how much he complains about how tired he is. But no,” He took another swig from his bottle. “Somehow, soon as I get home, he’s got all the energy in the world, to bitch and moan to me.”  
-  
Tony chuckled dryly. 

“Yeah, I know that one.” He shook his head. “Significant others, am I right? I mean, geez.” He sighed.

“Some people just stay around to break your heart, I swear.” He took another sip of his whiskey, thinking. He was still friends with Pepper, kind of. But she had left him with a lot. Being CEO of the company, and everything else..yeah. He wasn’t doing a great job, he’d admit it.

“‘Least you don’t have a company to run while you’re at it. God, I am horrible at my job.” He shook his head. Wouldn’t matter in a year or two, anyways. They’d find an interim and probably just go back to making a fortune in weaponry. When had his life become so damn depressing? Ugh. “Sorry. That’s a lot of shit all at once.” Welcome to his world. 

“Sorry about your man, though. I only met him once, but..he kinda seems like he would be that way.” Steve had struck him as the ‘complaining mom’ type, really. Not that he’d say that to Bucky’s face since they were still dating, apparently. 

 

-  
“S’alright.” He’d been wanting to call it quits with Steve for a’while but...he was a bit scared. Steve was the first one who’d accepted him when he’d come out back in freshman year of highschool, and they’d been thick as thieves since diapers. 

“I kinda feel like I’m married to the guy, y’know? Sucks...considering I’m not.” He finished his beer and signaled for another. One more wouldn’t hurt, right? He was enjoying seeing Tony, and wanted an excuse to stay up at the bar. 

“And I bet you do better than I ever could. Never really a business person. I work down at the history museum, I haven’t had to look at any paperwork other than archival files for years.” Bucky laughed warmly, and caught himself looking into Tony’s amber eyes. They were dark, but had a certain sparkle to them. Was lovely.  
God. He was dating someone, he shouldn’t be getting weak at the knees over other guys! Even if he didn’t want to be with Steve anymore, that gave him no right to let his mind wander.  
-  
Tony noticed that Bucky had ordered a drink, so he finished his own and did the same. His was smaller, after all. God, Bucky was gorgeous. Had thought so ever since he met him. Probably shouldn’t drink much more, lest the temptation became too much for the both of him. Still. Bucky was beautiful, from head to toe. Hair, eyes, the way he dressed..God. He in trouble. Both were. 

“You wanna move somewhere quieter?” The bar was fairly busy, and he was eyeing an empty corner booth in a shady area. Perfect place for a bit more privacy, but not too much. Tony stood and nodded towards it, showing him what he was thinking of. 

“Should be quieter over there.” Sure, Bucky was dating someone, but he didn’t really seem to like him that much. They’d probably just kiss a little, exchange numbers, and call it a night. No big deal. There was no way Steve would find out unless Bucky told him, and why do that? They could both have a nice night for once, at least.  
-  
Bucky followed Tony over to the booth wordlessly, stars in his eyes. What was he going to tell Steve? Well...nothing had happened. Yet. They were just two friends having a couple drinks. Sitting in a little booth shoulder to shoulder. Nothing sinister here. 

It would break his heart, though. If Bucky broke up with him. He’d told him how much his love meant. How he was what got him through the days...that without Bucky he was nothing. He’d also told him that he’d cause some extraordinary pain too, and that his opinions and humor had made him depressed on occasion. Bucky had given up on rationalizing Steve’s defenses. 

“You ever dance?” He asked once they were settled. In this corner, there was a pianist playing covers of mellow rock songs. If he wasn’t so entranced, or so fucking anxious, he probably would have bribed the man to play a show tune and danced poorly too it.  
-  
Tony nodded a little bit, taking a sip. 

“Poorly, but yeah.” What the hell, he was already feeling a little buzzed..why not? 

“Want to?” He asked, offering a hand. “I wouldn’t mind it.” He could already imagine holding Bucky close, swaying to the music..planting soft kisses on him. Sounded perfect. After a moment, he took Bucky’s hand, and led him out onto the area they’d cleared as a dance floor. He moved close, carefully swaying to the music. It was nice. Hadn’t stepped on Bucky’s foot yet. They were close, and it was like...like Tony had been waiting for this man his entire life. Bucky smelt of beer and he smelt of whiskey, and they both were just so close that Tony could see every detail of his beautiful face. All logic thrown out the window, goodbye, all he wanted was to be with this man. He had waited. Maybe he could wait longer. “You’re so handsome.” He said quietly, watching him.

“Can I..?” Screw it. Tony leaned forward, and kissed his cheek. Every freckle, scar, and spot on Bucky’s face had combined to make the most beautiful, kissable face that Tony had ever seen. How had he gotten so lucky to run into him tonight?  
-  
Bucky hated how much he liked how Tony was looking at him. How he complimented him. Dare he say it, how he kissed him. Like he hung the moon and scattered the stars. God, he wanted to kiss the man himself. But what would Steve do once he figured it out? Dragged the truth out of Bucky? Yell at him? Cry? Refuse to talk to him, but complain about how sad he was on Facebook and pull the pity me card around their friends? He sighed, and spun Tony around, a bit harder with only one hand, but he knew what he was doing. Bucky wanted this so bad. It was like in the books; dancing the night away at a bar right off the street. But...he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t hurt Steve like that. The retribution would be devastating. And what if Steve did something rash and it was all Bucky’s fault? He’d never forgive himself. Steve had threatened so much over the past six months that Bucky was afraid to even tell him he didn’t like pizza. 

“I don’t know if I should be doing this yet.” He said, still swaying to the music. “Steve...he can be rash sometimes. Especially when I do things that upset him.” He shrugged. “When anyone does, but especially me.” The words were bitter on his tongue and he hated saying them. All he wanted was to kiss Tony on the lips and dream the apartment he had to go home to away. But Steve wouldn’t like that.  
-  
Tony paused, and nodded slightly. He pulled a scrap of a business card out of his pocket, and handed it to Bucky. 

“This is my cell. Text me if you ever decide to leave him, okay? I’ll try to be around.” He added, softly. Hopefully, he’d still be alive at that point. He gave Bucky a look that only conveyed longing, then gently released him. 

“Take care of yourself. Try to be happy, even if it isn’t with me.” He placed another soft kiss on top of Bucky’s forehead, then released him. 

“I’ll see you again sometime, Bucky.” He hoped. With one fluid motion, he put his drink back on the bar, and left. Tony was still good to drive hopefully, and his first priority was going home. He could drink there too, he just..didn’t want to see Bucky right now. Too tempting, too..much. God, Tony wished he could have held him and danced the night away, but that wasn’t the way things could be. Not now and maybe not ever. Bucky would probably tie the knot with Steve, be trapped with him forever. And wasn’t that just as sad as dying alone.  
-  
Bucky watched Tony leave, and sat back down in the booth, now alone. He chugged the rest of his beer, now wanting to feel nothing, be nothing. In his hand, he still had Tony’s number, and the impression of his lips was still fresh on his forehead. That’s what it could be like. Just not for him. He was with who he was supposed to be with. Best friend to lovers, that’s how it worked out for him. And he fucking hated it. Sighing, he stood, and rifled through his wallet, sticking a five dollar bill in the tip jar of the pianist. Then, he trudged out, and sat on his motorcycle, looking out into the rain. 

************************

Bucky wondered briefly what would happen if he just rode in the opposite direction of the apartment building. Just rode ‘till he ran out of gas and waited to see what would happen. No. He wanted to go to bed. Even if it meant sharing it with Steve who was stiff as a board and never let Bucky hold him. Bucky revved the engine and glided out of the parking lot, towards the two bedroom he shared with Steve Rogers, dreading what he was going to come home to. Would he somehow be able to tell? That he’d danced with another man? Gazed adoringly at another? Probably. Bucky wasn’t sure how, but probably.  
-  
Steve was waiting for him. Where the hell was he? Sure, he’d left in a huff, but they’d only been arguing about whether it was his turn to cook again or not. Steve wasn’t that strong, he couldn’t cook every damn night, after all. He was sitting, watching a Lifetime movie and waiting with his arms crossed. It was obvious that he was pretty upset, he’d already posted to Facebook twice, and called all of their friends, and he still hadn’t heard anything from Bucky. When the man walked in, Steve stood up, looking far fiercer than he should for a twig. 

“Where the hell were you? I had to eat cereal, and I was alone all night. Is there someone else? Did you go to a strip club?” He walked closer. “You were at a damned bar. Don’t lie, I can smell it on you.” He shook his head. 

“You’re hurting me, Bucky. Why are you abandoning me now? I don’t get it. All I wanted was a simple dinner, maybe some macaroni and cheese or something, and you couldn’t even do that for me?” He shook his head. 

“I don’t know why I’m still here.” He said dramatically, before starting to walk off to the bedroom. Slowly. Obviously waiting for his boyfriend to say something, apologize, anything.  
-

Even though Bucky had heard the spiel a hundred times over, it still made his temper flare and his heart hurt. He sighed, and followed Steve to the bedroom. “I’m sorry, Stevie. I really am.” He took off his leather jacket and stuck it on a chair. 

“I thought we’d talked about this? That I was going out to do a couple things and maybe go to the piano bar? Take a little space?” He tried to smile at Steve, but he knew things were already going sour. Bucky knew what was about to happen, but there really wasn’t much he could to stop it. Steve would get upset and it’d take a while to get him outta it. 

“We could make some cookies together, wanna do that?” He said softly, sitting by Steve on the bed, putting his hand on his shoulder. Everyday it seemed to be the same hill Bucky had to climb, convincing Steve he was worth it and that he loved him. They became empty words, but he didn’t know what else to do. What if...what if he did something because Bucky left him? That’d be on his conscience, not Steve’s.  
-  
Steve didn’t move when he touched his shoulder, looking away. Hmm. Baking cookies together didn’t sound..too bad. “Fine.” He said, quietly. “But you get to make dinner tomorrow. I can’t do it, you know that Bucky. I just don’t have the energy to do that kind of thing all the time.” He looked up at him, big blue eyes still watery. “I love you, this is just all so much. You know how tired I get.” He stood up, weakly.

“Don’t leave me again for a while, please. I hate it when you go and I’m alone in this apartment on my own. I don’t know what I’d do if I fell, or I couldn’t do something…” He shook his head.

“I need you. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He took Bucky’s hand and squeezed it, using him to stand up the rest of the way. 

“Let’s go to the kitchen. We could make sugar cookies.” They were his favorite kind, of course. Sugar, spice, and everything nice. That’s what Steve thought he was made of. Just needed a little help from time to time, from Bucky. Depended upon him, really.  
-  
Bucky sighed, and followed him. “I won’t. I promise.” He’d just have to wait awhile to see Tony alone again, he supposed. Or any of his friends alone again. The Commandos, a casual band of his close friends at the museum who liked to play some weekends. When he did go out, it’d have to be with Steve in tow, nitpicking every little thing, every glance, every bite of food. 

“We can go see a movie or something. I heard that there’s a good musical in theaters.” While he did love a good broadway show, movie musicals drove him nuts. On the contrary, Steve loved ‘em. He’d given up on requesting political dramas. Steve would watch them, but never bring them up in conversation, even when Bucky would all but say the title while they talked. Once in the kitchen, he pulled his hand from Steve’s and began gathering ingredients. This was about the last thing he wanted to do. He was a little tipsy, and just wanted to sleep it off, but he knew he wouldn’t hear the end of it if the two of them didn’t go to bed together or spend time together before then. So, he swallowed any objections, and began making cookies with his boyfriend. Sugar cookies. The blandest, most basic cookie. The saltine of baked goods. Crumbled if you looked at it wrong. Bucky liked ones that had a bunch’a stuff in them. Chocolate chips, cranberries, toffee. Stuff that made made it interesting.  
-  
Tony was drunk inventing. Again. There was nothing that went better together than welding and crying, after all. And whiskey. Whiskey too. Lot of that. He had discovered the lines, more of them. And god, he was feeling it more every day. Tired, sick..and not just from the drinking. Tony knew he was dying, and there was no way around it. Couldn’t take the reactor out, but he was being poisoned from leaving it in. What was the point? There was no solution. He was going to die in his lab, surrounded by his robots. Rhodey would call, Pepper would call, but they didn’t care as long as he said he was fine. There was nobody.

“Just wish..wish I had somebody.” He said, to no one. The lab was empty except for Dum-E, U, and Jarvis. Jarvis was staying quiet, as he usually did when he was disappointed in Tony’s life choices. Well, screw him. The rest of the night went like that, until he passed out on a table and Dum-E luckily extinguished the blowtorch. He was good for something, apparently.

When Tony woke up, he was also characteristically alone. Nothing surprising, but he had experienced a dream that was..unusual. Bucky. Of course he had been drunk so that could have something to do with it, but it seemed like more than that. He had been dating Bucky, spending time with him. He was healthy. Tony wished it could be real. Wished he could actually have that. Instead, a nervous looking assistant entered the lab, and dropped off some papers and a Starbucks before leaving before he could say anything. Damn. Even his own staff didn’t want to be around him for any longer than necessary. Still. What if it was real? A cure seemed impossible, but at least he could look for it. Tony didn’t really want to die, he wanted someone to be with. But at this point, the latter seemed more likely than the former. Maybe..if he could find a cure, he’d find someone to be with too.


	2. Hey. I'm sick. Lovesick? Yeah. But also, I'm kinda dying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading chapter 2!
> 
> this really was fun to write, I hope it was just as fun to read :)

Bucky was fulfilling his promise and bringing Steve out to the movies. The guy had obvious preferences, even if he refused to voice them, never committing to any of the options Bucky gave. He’s mumble ‘sure’ and when Bucky would ask if he wanted to or not, he’d shrug. Was killing him, he was so frustrating. 

“Can’t ya just have an opinion for once in your life, Steve? I’m not a mind reader. I know you have an idea in your head, just tell me alright?” They were still looking up at the chart that showed all the upcoming movies. He’d already listed about half to a dull roar of passive aggressive I don’t care’s. He was not looking forward to asking him what candy he’d want. Maybe they should get a DA. Just follow them around and interrogate Steve for him whenever he refused to answer clearly. At least that way, he wasn’t the one who’s Steve’s petulant whining was directed at. 

Steve was walking right beside him, holding Bucky’s hand, when he saw him. The man they’d run into once before, who he had caught Bucky talking to. He didn’t say anything, purposefully not looking at him. Didn’t want to attract attention, or encourage the man to come over to them in any way. In fact, it would be better if that guy were just to disappear. Why did he have to be at the movies at the same time anyways? They reached the ticket booth, and Steve stared up at all the movies.

“We can watch whatever, Bucky.” He said, releasing his hand and crossing his arms low against his chest. “I don’t really care.”   
-  
Tony was behind them in line, and had to stretch to see around Bucky. Hmm. 

“Well, I’d recommend Alien. That’s what I’m going to go see, anyways.” When Bucky turned to see who it was, Tony smiled a little at him. 

“Hey, Bucky. It’s been awhile since I’ve last seen you.” It had really been about a month and a half, but he wasn’t going to mention their last meeting. Just in case Steve could do the math too, and figure out that it was when he had been to the bar last.   
-

When Bucky heard Tony’s voice, he perked up, and made a weak effort to hide it. 

“Tony!” He released his hand from Steve’s to stick it out to Tony. While in the real world they were beyond shaking hands, to Steve they had to look...like acquaintances. Like they hadn’t met a couple times and unloaded with each other. 

“How are you?” God, he hated how excited he was...to see how Steve would react. He’d been no less than his stoic, serious, righteous self when they’d first met, and Bucky expected no less from his arranged-marriage boyfriend. 

“And I think Alien sounds good.” His eyes slid over to Steve, almost challengingly. “You said you didn’t really care, right?”   
-  
Tony shook his hand, trying not to spend too much time holding it. God, Tony wished he could hold his hand forever, but that clearly wasn’t an option. After a moment, he dropped Bucky’s hand, and moved his own back to is side.

“I’m doing okay, how are you?” He smiled. “It’s nice to see you again.” He had missed seeing him. It had been too long, at least in his opinion. Steve looked up at him, looking a little bit..pissed.

“No, I don’t want to go see that. You know I’m scared easily...I don’t think my heart could take something scary like that.” He said, quickly. DIdn’t want to be in the same theater, either.

“Let’s go see that new musical.” He finally made a decision, at least.   
-

Tony didn’t say anything, not wanting to get involved in their relationship. Didn’t want to mess it up for Bucky, although the poor guy still seemed miserable with Steve. Geez. Steve kind of reminded him of one of those Southern belles in the movies who were always ten seconds away from fainting onto their fancy fainting couch. Tony wasn’t really one to judge, but..okay, maybe he was one to judge. He had shit to deal with, but he didn’t complain.

“That sounds like fun too, I’ll let you guys enjoy it.” He said kindly, trying to resolve the situation.   
-  
Steve went up to pay for the tickets, dragging Bucky up with him. As he was moved, Bucky turned around and looked a Tony, rolling his eyes and pointing a finger into his mouth. This was going to be great fun. Maybe Helena Bonham Carter will be a weird quirky being again! Or Anne Hathaway will sing while crying!

He got the tickets, and handed one to Bucky, and then the couple made their way to the ticket checker. Bucky glanced one more time at Tony and gave him the what can ya do smile, wishing he was the one he was going to see the movie with. Bucky bet that he’d make comments just as often as he did, and wouldn’t give him crap about it. God...why was he with Steve?  
___

Thank god Steve had work today. He was an artist’s assistant down at some painter’s guild. He should know the name, Steve had said it fully enough times, but he hadn’t gotten around to committing it to memory. Gave him a couple hours of freedom. And it was beautiful out. In a perfect world, he would have gone camping. But given that he only had until seven, that wasn’t really feasible. So instead, he mounted his bike, the pedaled one, and coasted through downtown towards the trail that was tucked away. It was right across from an ice cream shop and a barber, so not the most get into nature to forget about reality as Bucky would have liked, but it would do. About halfway through his ride, he spotted a familiar face sitting out front of a bistro, nothing in front of him but a drink. Bucky put on the break and called over to him. 

“Hey stranger.” He said, stepping off the bike and walking it over to the sidewalk, leaning it up against a lamppost. 

“Long time no see.” Bucky had a hopeful expression, one that gave off the impression that he wanted to try again. He’d brought up the idea of moving out for...work purposes to Steve, and while he hadn’t taken it well, he at least hadn’t refused to look at possible flats with him.  
-  
Tony jumped a little, but still smiled as he saw Bucky. He knew he looked like crap, thinner and more tired-looking than last time. At least he was trying. He stood up, glad to see him. 

“Bucky!” He said, glad to see the man. “Why don’t you sit down? I can get you some tea or some coffee or something.” Tony knew he needed to eat, though he wasn’t really hungry. 

“I missed seeing you.” It was unspoken that the man had never texted, though Tony didn’t hold it against him. Probably still dating Steve, though Bucky was giving the impression that he was interested in Tony for some reason. Even though he looked worse than ever. 

“It’s really good to see you again. I was worried I might not.” Ever, but that was left unspoken too. “I’m glad you’re here.” It was pure chance that he rode by, Tony was just trying to get out of the lab. He was cold as hell, and dying for some hot tea. Something to warm him up from the inside. He had been working for like a day straight, so he really needed a break anyways.   
-  
Bucky smiled brightly but shook his head. “I was actually on my way to the trail. Going on a little hike.” Awkwardly, he crossed his arm, resting his hand on his shoulder, where the stump was, about five inches below. It had been coming on a decade that he’d lost his arm, been a teenager when it’d happened, broke it and then it got a viral infection that was going to spread if they didn’t amputate, but he still felt like it made him stick out like a sore thumb. 

“Would you like to join me? It’s not hard at all, most of it’s flat, and there’s bridges.” He laughed lightly, feeling a bit overwhelmed in Tony’s presence. He seemed so much more dignified than Bucky. 

“Very scenic.” If Tony didn’t want to, he’d make up some excuse as to why he was going to stay here instead. Just...going to the trail, it was more secluded. Safer. Farther away from prying eyes.   
-  
Tony hesitated. Could he handle a long walk? If it was flat..maybe. He thought for a moment longer, then nodded.

“Sure.” He left a twenty to cover his bill and tip, it was only tea after all, and took the plastic cup with him. “I’ll try to keep up.” He walked with him, not going too fast. Hopefully Bucky wasn’t in any rush. Tony really didn’t want to tell him how he’d been doing, but now he was under pressure. Had to be okay. Couldn’t be exhausted from a short and easy trail. He had been working so, so hard though. Even quit drinking, just in an effort to live. Wore makeup to hide the lines. He didn’t want to lie to Bucky. 

“I’m…” He looked to Bucky. “I’m sick, Bucky.” He said, finally. Hadn’t told him about the reactor, hadn’t told him about how sick it was making him. It was such a long story. It was so hard to..tell. All he wanted was for someone to understand, but there was nothing he could do. Tony had come up with a solution, it was just nearly impossible to make in time. Making an element from scratch was not an easy business. He was close. Just..wasn’t sure if it would work. He had to build a new reactor, out of his new element. If he succeeded, it wouldn’t just be a way of living. It would be a world changing discovery.   
-

“W-what?” Bucky froze, and stared at Tony. “With what? Are you alright?” This was...news. And Bucky was struggling to process it. What did he mean? Did he have cancer? Some chronic condition? A person bumped into him, and that gave him enough of a push to walk over to a storefront.   
“Do you need help?” Bucky didn’t have much in terms of resources, but he could offer support, time, and his boundless TLC knowledge he’d learned growing up the oldest of three and being Steve Rogers’ best friend. He technically wasn’t able to be as close with Tony as he may have wished, but he could still be there as a friend, right?   
-  
Tony hesitated, and looked down, then back to him.

“It’s my, uh..pacemaker. It’s poisoning me. But if I take it out, my heart will stop beating, and I’ll die. If I leave it in...I’ll die.” He was stuck, trapped between a rock and a hard place. Sometimes, he thought about just taking the reactor out. It seemed better than suffering. Still, he couldn’t do that to the people who still cared about him, even if it was worse to watch him wither away.

“I’m trying to fix it, invent a new one. It’s just..taking longer than I hoped. I’m trying, I just don’t know..if I’ll make it.” He rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I’m sorry. I should have told you before, but that night was just..so nice. I didn’t want to ruin it.” He couldn’t hide it from the man forever. Who knew when he’d see Bucky again, if he would see him at all? Tony had to treat each time like it was his last. 

“I’m almost finished with it. I just..even if I get it done, it might not work.” He might die anyways, despite his best efforts. He was genius, but he wasn’t perfect. Might have screwed up somewhere along the line. And then..it was all over.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to be friends anymore, I know it..hurts to lose someone you care about.” He knew all too well. Looking down, anywhere, just not at Bucky, Tony took a small step back. “I don’t want to end up breaking your heart.”   
-  
Bucky shook his head quickly. “No, no, that isn’t a dealbreaker. I...I still want to be friends.” God, that sounded even worse coming from his mouth. He took a step closer to Tony and reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. 

“I want to be there for you.” Whether that meant going to the hospital or trying his best to help him with the solution, this man, he had a connection with Tony Stark that was stronger than he felt with anyone in a long time. He shifted his weight from foot to foot before pulling him into a hug. He hoped it wasn’t too noticeable that it was solely from his right side. Not that he hid it...just was something people forgot about sometimes. 

“What can I do?” Bucky asked, lips brushing his ear.  
-  
Tony thought for a moment, hugging him back. God, it was so nice to have a hug. No one had hugged him since...since Pepper left, probably. She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, told him to take care of himself, and she was gone. 

“I..I guess..” He thought for a moment. “There’s just one thing. It’s kind of scary, but it’s also really, really important. Can you do that for me?”

He was hesitant to release Bucky, voice soft. “I need to be able to call you. It might be in the middle of the night, I don’t know when, but I’ll need you to hurry. And I’ll need you to go to Stark Tower, they’ll let you in, and go to the lab. Hopefully at that point, I’ll be alive. If I am, I need you to hug me and celebrate, and probably share a drink. If not…”

He thought for a moment. “Just make sure they don’t take my robots. Nothing goes out of my lab except me. And the shiny thing that’s in my chest..if I’m dead, you have to take it out. You have to. Nobody can get ahold of it, or people could die.” He knew how important it was that it never fall in the hands of any government, or anybody who would use it for nefarious purposes. Tony knew he could trust Bucky. He had to, Bucky was the only person he had left. “C-can you do that for me? I..I know it’s a lot to ask. If you can’t, I’ll understand.” 

He looked up at him, eyes shining with tears. It was obviously his last wish. “I..I’ve been trying to teach the robots to do it, but they can’t. Guess I shouldn’t have given them emotions.”   
-  
Bucky didn’t realize he was crying until he felt tears dipping off his nose. It was strange. Strange how the same words could come out so different depending on who said them. Daily, Steve begged him to do things, to keep him safe and happy, but...it seemed like torture for Tony to even bring it up. He wasn’t asking Bucky because he needed the reassurance he’d be there, it was because he trusted him...trusted him with some of the most important moments in his life. There was no whine, no aggravation in his voice, nothing that curled around Bucky like a toxin. Just...desperation. Genuine pleading. All other roads had failed. 

“I will, Tony. I’ll do that for you.” Now, he’d be waiting for that phone call. The call that would either make his world shine or burn. Whatever way the cards fell, he would follow Tony’s wishes. It made him angry, to think of how much Steve asked of him, with no imminent danger to him, while there was Tony, with a faulty device inside his body that would kill him. Bucky hugged Tony again and planted a kiss on his cheek. His own face was still damp with tears.

“I promise.”   
-  
Tony nodded, hugging him close. “Thank you.” He said softly, before looking up at him. “Would you like to w-walk me home? You don’t have to, I just..thought I might show you where to go. I could introduce you to my robots, they’re really nice..I have- have Dum-E, and U, and Jarvis..” He was still shaky, scared. But Bucky was going to be there. Whether he lived or died, Bucky would make sure his wishes were respected. Nobody was going to get the reactor when he died, and he would be there to celebrate if he lived.

“This means the world to me, Bucky. The whole world. If you- I’ll put you in my will.” He knew he had to reward Bucky somehow, his kindness was overwhelming. Couldn’t ask for something and not give anything in return.

“And if I live, I’ll still give you something. I promise.” He added, softly. “Anything you want.” It was so much to ask. Tony knew it was. There was no one else he could turn to, though. “I just want to thank you for what you’re doing for me. I still can’t believe it.” If he died, it wasn’t going to be a pretty picture. And neither would be pulling the reactor out of his chest, leaving a gaping hole. But at least he could trust Bucky to do it.   
-  
“I’ll walk you home.” Bucky said gently, holding his hand firmly. Again, same action, but such a different response. Tony was guiding him to his house, but there wasn’t a tight fisted urgency to it. It was as if they’d known each other for years and were comfortable with each other. A little strange considering the other man in his life he had known for that long. Steve would flip if he learned Bucky was getting this...involved, no matter how platonically, with another person. He was an isolationist of the first degree, as if they were prudes who couldn’t even discuss other people, or the sanctity of their relationship would tainted. 

“And I’m not doing this for some reward, Tony.” He added quietly. “I don’t want anything in return. I’m doing this because I’m your friend and you deserve this. No...you don’t deserve it. You need it. You can’t go through what you’ve been through and come up dry.” Even if his final wishes were both the simplest and most heart wrenching. “I’m doing this because...well…” He shrugged. He hadn’t done something with this much conviction before. 

“I want to be there for you.” He said weakly. I want to be with you. You are my soulmate, aren’t you? He nodded, lowering his voice. “I want to be someone who is there for you.”   
-  
Tony walked with him, going a little slow, but making it. The tower wasn’t far, and he was looking forward to being home. Showing Bucky his robots, his children, basically. When they arrived at Stark Tower, Tony walked in and headed for the elevator.   
“The robots are the best.” He said, gently. He pulled out his wallet, showing him pictures before they arrived. 

“This one is Dum-E. He likes to make me smoothies full of inedible objects and spray me with fire extinguishers, but I still love him and we play fetch sometimes. He likes to chase tennis balls and throw them back at me with more force than necessary. And Jarvis..” He showed Bucky a selfie from when he was much younger, brighter somehow. It was a picture of him and lines of computer codes.

“That was the day I first activated Jarvis, when I was seventeen. I might of cried.” He chuckled softly. “He was really the first good thing I made. Say hello, Jarvis?” 

The disembodied voice in the elevator made it glow blue for a moment, as not to scare his guest. 

“Hello, Jarvis.” He said, in a dry voice that only an English butler could really pull off. “Really though, hello Mr. Barnes. Tony has told me all about you in many a late night, ill-advised science binge.” He was clearly tattling on the smaller man, and Tony shot an unamused glare at the wall. 

“I could put it in my will to donate you.” He said, with no heat behind his words. Who the parent was in the situation, it was almost impossible to tell. They arrived at the forty-fourth floor, and the elevators opened to reveal Tony’s lab. 

“Well...here we are.”   
-  
Bucky gasped. “Whoa. This is…” He laughed out of surprise when he turned and saw a little beeping one armed robot. 

“Real live robots! Ha!” He looked over at Tony and smiled widely, eyes bright. It was like he stepped into a sci-fi novel. There were countless inventions, and tools and it was all in a high ceilinged lofty lab. Bucky almost pecked him on the cheek, but held back. God. He wasn’t with this man...yet. Bucky was still with Steve and that was that. He and Tony could be friends. And friends would be enough. It would have to be...he wanted to make sure he could be here for Tony, without Steve blowing a fuse. That was a very real, very dangerous issue that could arise. Bucky drew back and patted Tony’s shoulder a couple of times. 

“This is amazing.”   
-  
Tony grinned. “Aw, I’m glad you think so...the one who is way too excited is Dum-E..” He patted the robot fondly, and it seemed to almost snuggle back into him. “Dum-E, this is Bucky.” The robot rolled forward and over to him, offering his hand for Bucky to shake. The robot beeped, still obviously excited. There were hardly ever visitors nowadays. 

The rest of the lab was big, and Tony took him on a small tour. He stopped in front of the new reactor, and hesitated. 

“This is what has to go in my chest. Eventually.” He said, quietly. It glowed blue already, though the casing was not yet complete.

“It’s made from an entirely new element..I’ve been working on that for a while.” It was extremely hard to manufacture, that was why it was taking him so long. 

“It’s not impossible, just..taking some time.” He shrugged. The reactor was large compared to most things that were supposed to be in people’s chests, but it was the same size as the old one. At least, Tony prayed it was the same size as the old one. He had measured and remeasured..it was just another worry.

“It’s not as bad as it looks, really.”   
-  
Bucky nodded, looking from the reactor to Tony, and his eyes trailed down to his chest, where he now could see the outline of what he supposed was the other reactor. He had a hunk of metal in his chest and that’s what was keeping him afloat, but also slowly killing him. A real heartbreaker, huh? He sighed and stuck his hand into his pocket, scrolling through his contacts, down to one labeled TS. He clicked it, and sent a text. Hey. Now, it was equal, Tony could contact Bucky and Bucky Tony….he just hoped it wouldn’t get obsessive. It was a tough call, but Bucky could read people, and Tony didn’t give off that vibe of attention seeker and dependent man. It should be fine. 

And he had to be able to call him when...whatever happened occurred. 

“You’re gonna be able to do it, Tony. If there’s anyone who can do it, it’s you.” Bucky knew the genius inside Tony’s mind, and the obvious determination, and well, desperation he had. While Bucky surely didn’t match Tony in scientific intelligence, he knew a great mind when he saw one. Tesla, Einstein, Hawking, they’d all had their troubles, but the gold that was their thoughts always shined through. The same could, and if he as a historian had anything to do about it, would be said about Tony Stark.  
-

Tony blushed a little, and looked at him. 

“Thanks, Bucky. I..I really hope so.” Tony had realized that he had a lot to live for. His private island, lazing in the sun. Spending time with his robots. The possibility of getting to know Bucky better. So many things, really. “I want to live and invent more, and..” He thought for a moment. “I just feel like I have so much more to give.” Tony looked around, then stepped a little closer to him. 

“Thanks for walking me home, Bucky. It was really kind of you.” Tony said, softly. “You’re a good man. Thanks for being my friend.” Tony knew how lucky he was to have a guy like Bucky in his life, whether their relationship was platonic or romantic. He was a good person, and an even better friend. 

“I’ll see you soon, I hope. I won’t contact you unless I really have to though, I promise.” He added, not wanting to bother the man too much and drive him away. Wouldn’t be surprising. That was why Tony wasn’t going to call until he absolutely had to. Until the final moment. Tony didn’t want Bucky to be a witness, just to..know what happened. If he disappeared, he didn’t want Bucky to be left wondering. Tony would never leave him on purpose. The world was going to drag him out, kicking and damn screaming. He wasn’t interested in going any other way, not anymore.


	3. That Wasn't For Hamilton

Tony wasn’t sure what Bucky needed to talk about, although he was curious. When Bucky texted him, he had kept things pretty vague. Sometimes they got together, had coffee, so Tony thought it was probably just that again. He went to a nearby Starbucks, their normal meeting place, and started to wait. Tony had ordered Bucky’s favorite coffee, and some tea for himself. Tony preferred coffee of course, but it had been making him feel shaky lately. Since it was so unpleasant now, he was doing his best to avoid anything that could speed up his heart too much, like caffeine. 

He sat down in a quiet area of the cafe by the fireplace, in one of the soft green chairs. Bucky would probably be here soon. Tony always arrived early to get his coffee for him, and just to unwind a little. Somewhere in his mind, he knew that it probably wasn’t right to be getting so close to Bucky while he was still dating Steve, but..Tony had a hard time caring. He was in love with the man, if he was being honest. His odds for living weren’t amazing, though he was working on it. Maybe he deserved to be happy for a while. Bucky seemed to like him. If only he was willing to break up with Steve, then things would be perfect. That was a mean thought, wasn’t it? Steve would probably be heartbroken, but Tony just..knew he wasn’t good for Bucky. The man was emotionally manipulative, and it made Tony mad. It wasn’t good for his friend. Tony knew that even if Bucky never dated him, he’d be better off without Steve.  
-  
God. Fuck...he’d done it. It had left Steve Rogers furious and silent. But...he’d had to do it. Last night had been the last straw. Steve had dug up some petty shit that Bucky had said and told him that he was making him really depressed. That he was feeling like Bucky hated him. 

Bucky had slept on the couch that night. He’d told Steve that he...wanted space. Didn’t think it was going to work out. And left. It had been a tearful ride as he drove on the back roads. He’d wasted the morning away listening to dreary seventies music and just riding until he needed to head back to the city. He’d asked Tony if they could meet for coffee. Bucky needed him right now. Was that bad? Was that like Steve? 

After parking his bike out front of the coffee shop, he took off his helmet off and shook his hair out, trying to neaten up his frizzy hair. 

“Hey Tony.” He said quietly, sitting down across from the man. God, he was beautiful. And now he could think so. Look into his eyes...and admire his cheekbones and jawline…

‘How’re ya?”   
-  
Tony looked over at him. “I’m okay. I got your coffee.” He picked it up and offered it to him. “I mean, it’s the same thing you normally get. Is that okay?” He added, worried that he might have suddenly changed his mind. “How are you?” Bucky had been on his motorcycle for a while, that was for sure. And he looked a little..shaken. Which Tony understood, but he had never seen that expression on Bucky before. Normally, he was steady. Definitely the rock in a relationship. He was worried about him. Maybe...was it possible that he had broken up with Steve? Tony moved a little closer to him, trying to be subtle about it. If he had, Tony’s first priority was comforting him. Second priority..asking him out, probably. But only when Bucky was ready. He didn’t want to push the man too far, too quickly.  
-  
Bucky instinctively leaned into Tony, looking him in the eyes, lashes fluttering as he tried to keep a steady gaze with him. He was a bit unfocused, thrown by the last twelve hours, but was determined to stay as strong as he usually was for Tony. 

“I broke it off with Steve.” He said quietly, as if he’d still get in trouble for expressing dissent. Bucky smiled and lifted Tony’s hand into his. Inside he was freaking out, but this was supposed to be a good thing...Sam had said so. Nat, too. Not to mention the Commandos. 

“He...he got to be...too much, I guess. Long time coming. We weren’t in love, not anymore. I honestly don’t know if I think I was in the first place.” His eyes were wet, the past five years had been tough, and...what if he’d wasted all that time? Fucked it up? Or...had Steve even been that bad? Maybe it was Bucky who had been the monster. He sniffled. 

“What if he does something...terrible?” Bucky gasped a bit, imagining all of the ways Steve had said he’d punish himself if he’d drove Steve away. “He said he would...punish himself if I left him. Fuck...I shouldn’t have left him.”   
-  
Tony shook his head, taking Bucky’s hand.

“Hey. You aren’t responsible for Steve’s actions. He’s manipulating you.” He added, quietly. “You aren’t obligated to stay with him, and it’s his choice to do anything. But..I have a feeling he won’t.” He didn’t want to tell Bucky, but Steve would probably find a replacement fairly quickly. People like that always did. 

“Steve isn’t going to punish himself. He’ll post online, and call his friends, and talk to them. They’ll probably take him out to dinner or something like that, and he’ll be okay.” Tony knew people like that when he was in boarding school.

“Really.” He added, gently. “He’s going to be okay.” It really didn’t seem like there was that much wrong with Steve, though Tony knew he could theoretically have something that wasn’t obvious. Still, Bucky didn’t have an arm for God’s sakes. The man deserved a break just as much as he did. 

“What did your friends say about it? Did they think it was a good idea?” Tony had a feeling they would probably think so, but he had never met Bucky’s friends. Maybe they liked Steve. Or maybe they supported Bucky, which was what Tony was really hoping for. Everyone needed a support system, especially when they were getting out of a bad relationship. Tony was going to help him, even if his friends didn’t. Do anything he could to make Bucky feel better and understand that relationships weren’t supposed to be like that. They were supposed to be evenly yoked, if possible. And if one partner really couldn’t pull their weight..they had to find another solution.  
-  
Bucky looked away, out the window and nodded. When he’d told them, their reactions were...too happy for a breakup. But he hadn’t said anything. 

“Yeah. None of them liked him. Only knew him ‘cause of me. Steve was a bit of a loner, to put it nicely.” He took a sip of his coffee and looked back to Tony. Now they could be together. Was it too soon? Was there some customary amount of time one had to wait between relationships? Even if one was brewing while stuck in another? They’d been dancing around this since they met eyes that time so long ago. Before Bucky knew of Tony’s fate and he of Bucky’s relationship. It couldn’t be too soon. Could it? 

He wanted to be with this man, for however long he had left. Dance, kiss, flirt, and sleep with him. Be there if he died, love him if he lived. And whatever happened in between. 

“Uh Tony?” He smiled, fumbling with his words. “Could I...do y’think I could take you out on a date?”   
-  
Tony blushed, then nodded. Bucky wanted to go out on a date with him. The man who was sick, dying, Bucky still wanted to take him out. 

“I’d love that, Bucky. I’d go do anything you wanted.” God, Tony would struggle his way through a marathon if he thought it would make Bucky happy. 

“I heard there’s a new play in town at the theater, we could go see that if you want.” He knew Bucky liked musicals, though this one wasn’t. 

“We could also try to go see Hamilton. I mean, tickets are usually sold out, but I’m sure I could get ahold of a couple.” They were in New York, after all. And what the hell, why not? “I can’t promise anything with that, but I’d give it my best shot.” He was a rich man after all, and he could afford to do fun things like that with his date if he damn well pleased. 

“Only if you want, though.” He smiled at Bucky, hoping that one of those ideas would be suitable, or Bucky would suggest something better. He wanted to make him happy, so badly. Wanted to make him forget that his date was dying, just remember that he was Tony. A normal(ish) guy.   
-  
Without thinking, Bucky pressed his lips to Tony’s, cradling his head with his hand, fingers grazing his hairline. He pulled back, not wanting to come on too strong. He looked into Tony’s eyes, pure adoration. God, it was like he was on fire. No...that sounded bad. It was like he was seeing the stars for the first time. Some of them must’ve been listening when he wished upon them, huh?

“That wasn’t for Hamilton.” He said, chuckling. It seemed like he’d kissed him at the mention of heavily sought theater tickets, but it was really just a culmination of his emotion toward the man. The empathy, the trust, the companionship, the....love.

“I mean, I will definitely kiss you again if you snag some Hamilton tickets, but,” He shrugged, sheepish smile on his face. Contrary to his previous relationship, Bucky like physical affection. It made him feel loved. Warm. Noticed. Most of the time he felt like a placeholder. At work, with his friends...But Bucky was hoping to change that. Prove that he deserved that attention. 

“I have a feeling you won’t have to wait that long.”   
-  
Tony laughed, feeling truly..happy. Damn, he was really head over heels for this guy already.

“I think I’ll work on getting those tickets, then.” He grinned and planted a kiss on Bucky’s cheek.

“I’m so glad we can be together.” 

He really was. They had waited for so long, Tony was thrilled that he didn’t have to wait any longer. Bucky had been worth waiting for, but he was still glad the wait was over. “I’m just sorry it wasn’t sooner.” He was worried about how long he’d have to enjoy dating Bucky, at this point. A year? Maybe. If he could get the reactor ready, then they’d be able to live together for a long time. That would be really nice.

“The reactor is going pretty well, though. I’m getting close.” He shrugged. “I’ll get there, I promise.”   
-  
Bucky hadn’t noticed how close they were to each other until their knees bumped. He wished it had been sooner too. He lifted Tony’s hand to his lips and kissed it gently. All he wanted was to be there for Tony. Love him, let him know he was loved, until he died. He hoped that wasn’t as soon as he feared it would be. 

“We’re just going to enjoy the time we have, right? I’ll be by your side for it.” He didn’t specify what it was, but he knew they were both all to aware of what he was referring too. Even since they’d first met coming on six months now, Tony had deteriorated physically. And it pained him to think he was just going to get worse before he would get better or...or...Bucky didn’t want to think about the other option. 

“You don’t even have to bring me to Hamilton.” He joked lightly, in an attempt to soften the tension both in his head and in the coffee shop. 

“Though it would be nice.”


	4. Feast the Epiphany

Tony knew he needed to be working. Needed to work on the reactor, so he could live. But he was just so damn tired. More than just the normal, didn’t go to bed soon enough, tired. This was exhaustion that penetrated down to his bones. He was cold too, working with a fleece blanket wrapped around his body wasn’t enough anymore. All he wanted to do was go to his room, and snuggle up with his boyfriend and sleep. It was almost one a.m….maybe he could get some rest. Couldn’t really hurt. He sighed and trudged over to the elevator, pressing the button to go to his room. 

“Night Dum-E, night U, night Jarvis.” He said to them, wearily. “Love you all.” The elevator took him up to their room, and he figured Bucky would be there in bed already. Maybe he would still be awake, then Tony could snuggle into his chest and just..stay. Warm up, relax, drift off to sleep. That was all he really wanted, anyways. Every night, Bucky was there for him. More than he could ever hope for. If he had to die this way, at least he had met the love of his life before he went.   
-  
Bucky had kinda gotten lost in a primary document, analyzing the photocopy he’d made at the office in bed. It was an old letter, from one Revolutionary general to Washington himself. It was a bit hard to read, given that his only light was from a lamp and the ink was fading. On the table beside him, there was a freezing cup of tea, he’d meant to go to bed hours ago, and his laptop was burning a hole through the sheets, it’d been running for so long. His eyes were stinging, but he hadn’t planned to stop until the door opened and Tony walked in, covered in a blanket and looking half-dead. Maybe only a quarter dead, but this hadn’t been a great day health wise. Bucky had begun bringing up working from home the sicker Tony seemed to get. He knew Tony would vehemently insist he was fine but...what if he wasn’t? And then he just died here...or suffered alone? 

“Hey honey.” He said softly, closing his laptop and piling the papers on top, sticking it under the bedside table. “Ready for bed? It’s getting kinda late, isn’t it?”   
-  
Tony nodded a little.

“Yeah.” He said, softly. “I was just..working.” He started to cough, and covered his mouth with the crook of his arm. 

“God, I hope I don’t do this again all night. I really don’t want to keep us both up again.” He sat down on the bed, and cuddled underneath the thick blankets, then into Bucky.

“If I start coughing too much, I’ll go downstairs and sleep on the sofa. You should get some rest.” He added, gently. It wasn’t Bucky’s fault, after all. Today was just a bad day. Bucky had tried to convince him just to stay in bed, but..that wasn’t going to fix anything. He looked up at him, glad to finally be in his arms. 

“I’m just glad you’re here.” He added softly, nuzzling into him. God, Tony really was. If he was all alone...Tony wasn’t sure what he would do. He wouldn’t admit it of course, he didn’t want Bucky to feel obligated to stay home for him, but it meant the world to him. To have someone to cuddle up against and sleep with, who would wake up and help him if the coughing got too bad, or if he was sick again. Who would wait up for him, even when he spent way too long in the lab. Sometimes, Bucky would even take him out for lunch and make him feel like less of a total invalid.

“I love you, Bucky.” He said softly, though it barely needed to be said. They both showed each other so much love through their actions, that it was painfully obvious. Tony spent extra hours in the lab, making him little things that would make him smile. Finding rare edition books he knew Bucky would love. And hell, they did eventually get to Hamilton, though Tony didn’t get to see all of it. He didn’t want to interrupt them with his coughing after all, so he left about halfway through and let Bucky stay for the rest. It had still been a nice night.   
-  
No. I would go sleep on the couch. Bucky thought as he wrapped his arm around Tony, trying to ignore how small he felt beside him. He hoped he’d get the reactor working soon. It felt like Bucky was just waiting around, watching his boyfriend deteriorate, not able to do anything. Bucky put on a brave face but...god, he wanted to cry. He’d talked to a doctor, one that specializes in internal organ poisoning, for when the time came that Tony couldn’t...couldn’t work on his own anymore. There was nothing Bucky could do when that happened, and as much as Tony refuted claims that he’d need a doctor, they both knew it to be true. Bucky just hoped Tony didn’t have to die in the ICU. That was one of the worst ways to go. Wherever he ended up, he wouldn’t be alone, at least. Bucky would be there, and since they began dating officially a couple months ago, all his own friends had become enamored to him. They’d already told Bucky they were willing to help. If his current situation hadn’t already shattered his heart into a million pieces, that would have. 

Bucky kissed the back of Tony’s neck softly and whispered to Jarvis to turn off the lamp. Normally, he’d do it himself, but he didn’t want to disturb Tony. His illness had been progressing steadily, getting more and more severe, and he felt like their time was running out. Bucky wanted to make it last. So he did. Dance around the kitchen while he made dinner, crack jokes while they drove to run errands. Pack extra blankets and bring Tony to the shore. Bucky wasn’t a scientist, or a doctor, but he was trying his best.  
-  
Tony knew he didn’t have much longer. A month, maybe two. It kept snowballing, getting worse. Jarvis had told him that once he started coughing up blood, it was bad..and now he was. 

“Tomorrow, sweetheart.” He said softly, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s forehead. “I have to do it tomorrow.” Soon, he wouldn’t have the energy to stand. His hands would be too shaky to work with small electronics. He had to do it tomorrow.

“But..I might need your help.” He had wanted to avoid Bucky being in the room. He really did. But he wasn’t strong enough to pull out his old reactor and put the new one in, not in a matter of seconds. He was already struggling through his daily routine. He was dying, and he had to do this before he got any worse. 

“You’ll..you’ll help me, right? It’s going to be scary.” He pressed closer into him. 

“I’ll look..bad, but you have to put the new reactor in my chest anyways. And it might hurt, but then..hopefully, I’ll live again.” He had designed it carefully. When the old one was removed, his heart would stop beating. The new one would shock it back into rhythm, and if all went well, go back to supporting it without poisoning him. The recovery after that would be difficult, but..he wouldn’t deteriorate anymore, at least. God, he was so afraid. Terrified, really. He didn’t want to die. He wanted to keep enjoying life with his boyfriend. The past few months had been both the best and the worst of his life. Physically, he could barely function, but Bucky didn’t care. He still loved him, filled in all the places Tony couldn’t anymore. Helped him dance to the old, crappy record player that they’d gotten from a thrift shop. Took him to the beach, helped him tan so he didn’t look quite so deathly pale. They’d even played in the ocean for a little while, even though it was freezing cold. They had lived together and become closer than any couple in fifty years. They were each a part of each other and Tony didn’t know what either one of them would do. Tony would rather lose anything than leave Bucky right now. He wanted fifty more years with the man. Wanted a life with him, maybe even kids one day. A real house, with a stupid picket fence. He had dreams with somebody for once, and now they’d never happen. Karma really was a bitch.   
-

“I’ll help you, Tony. I’ll do my best.” Unbeknownst to Tony, he’d researching the medical side of his boyfriend’s condition. Of course, he wasn’t a doctor, but his historian brain had read a lot more confusing text before. He wouldn’t be going into this blindly. It was going to be heart wrenching, the pain Tony was going to go through would be tenfold of what he already felt, and Bucky would have to stay alert and aware the entire time. He couldn’t get caught up in his emotions, or start to cry. 

But, he also was holding on hope that it all worked out. Science and reasoning aside, he was begging whatever fates had brought them together to let him live. He...he wanted to cash in his reward for helping him. Way back then, back when the air was warm and the sky was blue, before the leaves changed colors and Bucky was tearing up at the thought he wouldn’t have Tony for Christmas, way back then, Tony had told him he could have anything he wanted. 

He hoped Tony Stark would let him give him something instead.


	5. Carpe Diem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well....this is it folks. The last update of Chance Meetings. 
> 
> I hope y'all liked it!

Tony woke up the next morning, knowing that today had to be it. He had been right. It was now or never. He either had to do it today, or die slowly in a hospital. And Starks were not people who took death lying down. No. He wasn’t giving up, and neither was Bucky. Speaking of. His boyfriend wasn’t in bed, but Tony could smell breakfast in the other room. He was going to try to eat, if Bucky had gone to the trouble of making it. Tony got up slowly, not bothering to change. Didn’t have the energy for that, and it didn’t really matter. He’d have to take his shirt off later on. Why put a new one on, just to take it off again? 

He walked into the kitchen, smiling weakly when he saw Bucky. 

“Good morning, sweetheart..” He said, softly. “How are you?” Tony felt like crap, more so than usual, but he attributed that to nervousness. Tony sat down on one of the barstools at the counter, struggling to get himself up. Once he did, he huffed, and shook his head. “Damn chairs. It’s fine.” He said, not wanting Bucky to worry. 

-

Bucky took the scramble off the burner when he heard Tony’s soft voice. It was probably too dry and he wasn’t even sure how much onion he’d put in, or cheese, right now he wouldn’t mind his ma’s baked mac and cheese...something to comfort him. It had been a rough night.

Truth be told, he hadn’t been able to sleep much last night. He’d had fitful rest at best, but wasn’t all too sure that he’d actually gone into REM for more than an hour or so. Once he was sure Tony was out for the count, he’d set himself up in the easy-chair they had stuck in the corner of the room, and buried himself in his research. It was too stressful for him to actually remain in this time period. He walked over to Tony and turned the stool around, pulling him close. Bucky kissed his cheeks and then his forehead, the tip of his nose and then finally his lips, it was soft and delicate, but he didn’t want to let go. Letting go meant the moment would be over and they’d be all the more closer to...to...what came next. So he didn’t.

-

Tony held him, smiling a little. It was nice to be loved on. Took his mind off of his situation, and..how close he was to either the end, or the beginning of a new life. He kissed Bucky back, and looked into his soft grey eyes. Bucky looked so heartbroken, and Tony understood, but...he wanted to make him smile. So Tony smiled a little and said, 

“I love you, Bucky Bear. It’ll be okay.” He leaned forward, and kissed the tip of his nose. “I love you no matter what. And if I die, I’m definitely going to haunt your ass. So don’t worry too much.” He chuckled softly, trying desperately to lighten the mood. No one could say that he didn’t understand gallows humor. Maybe it was because he had been in so many life or death scenarios. 

“Breakfast smells really good. Thanks for making it for me.” It was really thoughtful of him, honestly. Tony was going to try to eat it, since he had gone to the trouble of making it. Plus, eating did make him feel a tiny bit better. Even if it made him feel bad a little while after. 

\--

Bucky nodded, using plating his sorry excuse for a meal as a chance to wipe his eyes and try not to cry. This could be the last time they ate together. The last time they saw the sun rise....fuck, Wednesday could be the last time Bucky kissed him on the cheek before going to work, complaining to him over the phone about the traffic! He bit his lip hard to stop the sobs from reaching his vocal chords. It stung, but he wasn’t going to cry and throw Tony off. Was this the last time he’d call you his Bucky Bear? Or the last time you have to get two mugs down? 

With shaky hands, he passed a plate to Tony and then went onto making coffee and tea. When he opened the cabinet, he felt like he’d been shot. Their Star Wars mugs. I love you. I know. Each phrase was written in the classic star wars font. He’d picked them up one time while he was out and brought them home, kinda as a joke, but mostly because he felt like it fit them all too well. Bucky stood frozen at the open cabinet before removing himself, letting the door swing on it’s hinges. 

There was a balcony at the south end of the floor. Usually, he liked to work out there on nice afternoons or sing along to the record player while he and Tony enjoyed the stars together. Right now, though, it was the only place he could go to free his mind. He couldn’t handle it. He needed to compose himself before facing Tony again. Tony needed him to be there, no matter what. Bucky had to be strong. He was just feeling a little weak right now. 

-

Tony gave him some space, eating his scramble silently. He wanted to hold Bucky tight, cry with him for the millionth time, he just..couldn’t He was cried out. It was like there was just nothing left in him. He knew Bucky wanted to be strong for him too, although he really just wanted him. Whether Bucky was happy, sad, or anything else, Tony just wanted him to be there. He wanted to tell Bucky it was going to be okay, though he couldn’t promise that. Even if the new reactor worked, he still might not survive. It was terrifying. He looked at the cabinet, realizing what had set Bucky off. Their Star Wars mugs. Tony sniffled a little, and brushed a few stray tears from his eyes. Geez. How did he ever get so lucky? Why couldn’t they just..why couldn’t like just be simple? Well, he knew what to do now. He got the mugs down, and filled both with tea. Bucky probably didn’t need any coffee right now. Then he walked to the balcony, and moved over to him. 

“Hey.” He said, softly. “I brought you some tea. I...I couldn’t eat much. We can go whenever you’re ready.” Tony never wanted to go down to his lab and do this, but he had to. Knew he had to. It was harder somehow to make yourself face death. Yet, Tony was going to do it. For his robots, and Bucky, and the world. 

-

Bucky took a sip of his tea, not tasting it whatsoever, and turned to peck Tony on his temple, not able to hold both his hand and the mug. 

“I just want it to be done, Tony.” He dragged out the last syllable in his boyfriend’s name, not meaning to, but his tone had become very lonesome and just sad in the last hour, now that he was forced to speak. 

“I want to try and help you get better, baby.” He took another sip of tea, trying to gather strength. “When do you want to start?” 

-

Tony took a deep breath. “Let’s do it now, then.”

He started to walk to the elevator. “I want it to be done too. I..I think everything as ready. As ready as I can make it.” The elevator doors opened, and Tony looked back to Bucky, waiting on him. 

“I think we can do this.” He was trying to stay positive, that he would survive this and come out the other side, and recover. If he was able to really do this, it was going to be big news. One day if they could make it more accessible, people could have the same thing he did. It wasn’t exactly better than a pacemaker, but it was idea when you had shrapnel in your chest. It was ideal for soldiers. People in war zones who had been injured. People whose deaths would otherwise be his fault, essentially. 

“I’m going to make it, Bucky. I..I will.” He added, trying to be more confident than he was. Tony wasn’t going to give up. There were a lot of people who loved him and wanted him to live. Bucky, his robots, Jarvis..even Bucky’s friends were worried about him. He was going to fight because through it all, that was who Starks were.

-

Bucky nodded. “I know you will.” He said, “I know it, Tony. I’ve always believed that you would.” It was just the whole margin of error that worried him. Tony could do everything right, down to the music playing in the background, but something could still happen. Doc Brown still got shot by terrorists. Han Solo still gets killed by his own son. 

The possibility that something could go wrong was there, and the possibility that it was something they could not have accounted for was huge. The elevator dinged and opened on the lab. They walked out together, and before entering the space where his boyfriend was either going to die or live, he pulled him close and kissed him. One more time. Before his world changed. Till death do they part.

-

Tony kissed him back, full of love and gentle passion. He wasn’t planning on going anywhere, at least not yet. There was the possibility, but..all signs pointed to a good outcome. He hoped. Tony walked into the lab, where all the robots were waiting around almost..nervously. Dum-E beeped at him, sounding concerned. He gently patted the top of his claw. 

“It’s okay, Dum-E...I’ll be done soon.” He kissed the side of the metal arm, then moved over. Tony had prepared a space specifically for this moment. It was simple, just a chair for Tony to sit in (so he wouldn’t fall), and both reactors. 

He looked up at Bucky. “When I take it out, you put the new one in. It’s just a push, a twist, and then you’ll hear a click and the light should come on. Ignore any uh..noises, that I make. It’s going to hurt, but I’m going to try and stay quiet.” He didn’t want to freak Bucky out after all. “So..are you ready?” He asked, slipping off his shirt. God, he was tiny. Looked like he was about to starve to death at any moment. Not a good look for him. If only it wasn’t so hard to eat without feeling sick. 

-

“Yes.” Bucky said seriously, nodding. He knew what he had to do. It was going to kill him, causing Tony pain, but it was more than worth it. World’s worth it. In his pocket, the little tin box, outfitted with brass rivets and all the works, he’d found it at an antiques store, thought Tony would like it. But...inside was the ring. Another antique, it was a roaring twenties era, diamond encrusted and silver. It was a little flashy, but Bucky really thought Tony would think it was pretty. He just hoped he would be able to give it to him. 

He looked at Tony, small and tired. The last thing he wanted to do was take something out of his chest...and stop his heart. It would begin again. It would. It had to. Bucky spotted the new reactor waiting nearby, and he stepped towards Tony, just close enough so he could lean over and do...what needed to be done. 

-

Tony cried out for just a moment, one horrible moment when the reactor was pulled from his chest. It was like the air had been ripped from his lungs. He could hardly breathe. Wasn’t going to waste his breath screaming.

“Love..you.” He said, looking up to Bucky. God, he had to get the new reactor in. Had to get it into his chest. What if he dropped it? No, Bucky wouldn’t drop it. The real question...would it work? He had to hurry. Bucky had to hurry. Tony could hardly breathe. He could feel his already weak body beginning to shut down. He knew he only had about two minutes without the reactor, without any air before there was brain damage. Three, and he’d be dead. Jarvis was silently counting in the background, where Bucky couldn’t see. Tony’s eyes were wide, as he gaped and just tried to breathe. Please. Hurry. He begged silently, unable to waste his breath. If his last words were telling Bucky that he loved him, they would be good last words indeed.

-

Bucky all but turned to stone when Tony screamed. It echoed through the lab and burned his ears. He never, ever wanted to hear that sound again. Setting the old reactor down, he quickly grasped the new one in his hand, time seemed to be slipping from him. He had to move fast. And fast he did. Bucky tried not listen to Tony as he muttered a lifeless love you, turning blue and eyes bigger than the moon. Instead, he put all his focus into inserting the new reactor into Tony Stark’s chest. Push. Twist. Click. Push. Twist. Click. Push. Twist. Click. 

Like he was a surgeon, Bucky expertly set the reactor into Tony’s chest and then twisted it into place, ignoring how it unnatural it sounded as it settled. When he heard the reactor click, Bucky finally could breathe again. But only for about half a second.

“Oh my god! Fuck-work!” The fucking thing didn’t immediately turn on. “Fuck-fuck-fuck!” Using his knuckles, he tapped the top, and when nothing happened, he hit it with the heel of his hand. Then, the most beautiful light glowed from Tony’s chest. Bucky fell to his knees and started sobbing in relief. His own yelps rivaled Tony’s, and the tears falling soaked his cheeks. He’d held it together up until now. But...now that he didn’t have the fear of Tony’s death and his loss of the man he loved, Bucky just shattered. Down on the floor collapsed and soaked in tears. He reached up and grasped Tony’s hand kissing it repeatedly. It had worked. Right? It lit up. Push. Twist. Click. Push. Twist. Click. 

-

Tony was alive. Mostly. His breath was short and shallow, but he was starting to regain consciousness. His hand twitched against Bucky’s kisses, and his long eyelashes fluttered as he awoke. 

“Hm- hmm..?” He moaned softly. “Damn it, my chest hurts..” He said, not fully realizing. Then he did. His eyes flew open and with the adrenaline, he practically threw himself onto the floor and into Bucky.

“Oh my God, Bucky!” He wrapped his arms around him, kissing the hell out of the man. “You did it, God I love you so much, I’m so glad you’re here..” He couldn’t have done it without Bucky. He would have certainly died. It was going to take time for him to recover, but he was alive. Confetti drifted down from the ceiling, in a variety of shapes. Tony had arranged for it of course, assuming he lived. If he had died, it just would have been awkward. Pausing for a moment, Tony looked up at him.

“So, what did you want for your reward?” Tony figured he’d want something like a vacation, maybe a kiss, even money. Maybe his own robots. Whatever it was, Tony would get it for him. Bucky could ask for the goose that laid the golden egg, and Tony would engineer him one. Anything. Tony felt high, he was so..thrilled. Everything was bright and his stomach didn’t hurt, and he didn’t feel like he needed to cough. The poison wasn’t killing him anymore. Tiny nanobots were cleansing it from his body. It was going to be okay. He was going to be there for Bucky. 

-

Bucky laughed out loud at Tony’s newfound energy and strength; given by the passion in his kisses. He wiped his eyes, which were filled to the brim, and smiled shakily at Tony. 

“W-well,” God, he swear he was going to be the one now that had heart issues, his heartbeat was off the chain. It pounded in his ears and he bet his eyes were ringed red. Not exactly picturesque-proposal look. Reaching into his pocket, he took out the little metal box, opening it with his thumb. 

“Anthony Stark,” His voice was quivering now not from fear but pure relief and anxiety. “Love of my life, man of my dreams and the person I imagine every time I hear a love song,” Bucky swallowed, and took the ring out, holding it out to Tony. 

“Will you marry me?”   
-  
To say that Tony was shocked, was an absolute understatement. He was frozen for a solid minute, before he hugged Bucky even more tightly and practically knocked him over. 

“Yes, yes I will marry you, James Barnes. I love you so much.” He kissed him over and over again.

“I love you so much.” He repeated, more excited than a puppy that had just been adopted. Someone wanted to marry him! How had he ever gotten so lucky? He got to live, he got to marry Bucky! He must have done something right in the world. Finally slowing down a little, Tony took a few deep breaths, and grinned.

“We have to tell everyone. I’m going to have a huge wedding shower and invite Natasha and all your friends and Rhodey, and everyone I can think of. Can Dum-E be our ring-bearer? I promise he won’t screw it up too badly, and he’s way cuter than some random kid.” He giggled. Obviously, he was still excited. Just slightly less bouncy. 

“We have so much to plan for the wedding too. Like our colors, and the cake..” He looked at the ring Bucky had. “Oh, it’s so beautiful..” He said, emotions suddenly overwhelming him. He was alive and Bucky had gotten him a ring. 

“Thank you. For wanting to marry me, and helping me, and everything else.” 

-

Bucky was crying again, damn it. Confetti in his hair and Tony plastered against him. He wouldn’t have it any other way. Gently, he slid the ring onto Tony’s finger, kissing it. Seeing Tony like this made his heart sing. The man was himself again. Lively and healthy and god, it was glorious. He kissed his fiance on the mouth and then rested his head in the crook of Tony’s arm, peppering the bare skin with soft pecks. 

“We can do all that and more, honey.” He smiled through his tears. “I’m just so grateful you’re alive, Tony. There were a scary few seconds there, but you pulled through. You are so strong.”   
-  
Tony smiled, a few happy tears running down his face as well. 

“Okay. I’m glad I wasn’t awake for that part then.” He joked, gently. He thought for a moment, trying to decide what to do next. 

“Can we call all your friends and go to IHOP? My treat, but I’m starving.” Now that he could actually eat, he was really hungry. “I guess we might want to put on some proper clothes, though.” He kissed Bucky’s cheek.   
“Although you could wear anything out and still look handsome, I think I’ll at least need a t-shirt.” He was so happy, it was insane. It was going to take a few hours for the natural high to wear off. Finding out you were going to live and getting engaged all within the span of an hour was enough to excite even the most stoic person in the world, which wasn’t Tony.

“God, today has been the best day ever. Pancakes are literally the only thing it needs.” And he was going to ask them for a candle in his, because now he was going to live, and if that wasn’t a cause for celebration, what was? He stood up slowly, still slightly weak from being underweight and exhausted, but he didn’t even care. 

“I wanna go everywhere. Look at the sky. Smell the grass, and the roses, and the coffee, and everything else.” Carpe diem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading you guys!
> 
> Given the reaction to this, we plan on publishing more of our work :) 
> 
> Again, thank you so much, from both of us

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, really it means a lot to us.
> 
> if there's anything you want us to tag, please don't be scared to let us know :)
> 
> please leave feedback!


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